Critical Self Reflection Assignment: Narrative Reflection
For each of the four assessment tools that I chose to use; Culturagram, Ecogram, Critical Events Timeline, and the Achievements Timeline, things stood out for me when completing them.
While working on the Ecogram, something that stood out to me was how large my family is and how much support I receive from having a close relationship with some of my relatives.. The activity reminded me of how my parents, siblings and cousins are pillars of strength for me, and help our family to uphold values of togetherness, hard work, and sharing and providing support to each other. While working on the Critical Events Timeline, I was especially reminded of so many adversities that I have faced. This timeline was one that I had to spend the longest amount of time completing, since it caused me to reflect on the areas of my life that I believe are paramount to who I am today. The Critical Events Timeline caused me to reflect on the significance of certain events and how they shaped my life, whether they were considered to be negative or positive events at the time that I experienced them. While completing the Achievements Timeline, I was able to create a detailed list of my achievements and something that stood out for me was the sense of pride I had in reading through them. I also noticed that I enjoyed the experience of having them all in one place, as in my normal life I sometimes have to pause and think before being able to name many of them. I think that the achievements timeline is a very good tool for learning to practice kindness to oneself and for developing a sense of pride in our accomplishment.I think it is a very helpful tool to use in addition to critical events timeline, since it has the ability to highlight the events in someone’s life that may be considered critical because they reflect positive milestones as oppose to adverse ones. I like that this timeline is specific to surviving hardships, positive achievements and goals that we have met. While I completed the Culturagram, something that stood out to me was the association of different parts of the sections with a person’s life through a lens of culture. I realized that my immigrant status, and family values make up a very large part of my culture and social location here in Canada. The culturagram showed me that my community experiences, activities I chose to partake in, and holidays and events that i choose to celebrate, are all a part of decisions I have made in pursuit of the best possible life I can provide for my children and future, and those efforts to adhere or change traditions play an active role in what I understand to be my culture.
Experiences from my life that I think invited to wanting to become an SSW
I definitely believe that many of my life's experiences have influenced my decision to become an SSW. There are many aspects of social service work that I have personally benefited from and wish to expand and extend to the community myself. The resources I have benefitted from included help with immigration, support navigating various complex court systems, tax and social assistance systems, guidance and knowledge on my rights when interacting with potentially harmful social welfare systems such as children’s aid societies and police. I was able to access community centers and free programming to propel my children's school and extracurricular success.
I am the children of Caribbean immigrants to North America, and my children and I are immigrants to Canada. I am a survivor of gender based violence in multiple forms. I have seen first hand that people with lived experience can be extremely resourceful and often have the capability to combine their personal knowledge with education to efficiently help others. I have received both positive and negative outcomes from different social systems that I think can be overwhelming, and having survived the navigation of them, I want to extend a helping hand to other people who are mitigating similar challenges.
After completing the assignment, and reflecting experiences in my life that I have not come to terms with, I have identified some things that I consider to be tender spots and triggers. I plan to address this in a safe, purposeful way prior to entering practicum.
There are certain experiences of my life that I have not come to terms with. An example of a tender spot, activating experience or trigger of mine, is pedophilia. I understand that people who engage in pedophilia need help themselves, despite the damage that they may or may not have caused in their communities and families, but I still find it difficult to imagine myself providing counselling to a pedophile. I think there are a few reasons for my feelings about this, including the fact that I am a mom. I also feel a huge part of the reason that I struggle coming to terms with pedophilia, is a result of past experiences. I have had relatives who are survivors of this type of abuse, and I also grapple with the notion that pedophilic behaviors are damaging and victimizing, often to people other than the pedophiles themselves. My plan to address this prior to entering practicum is by educating myself as much as I can on the way that pedophiles receive care, and the resources available to them to help cope with, and understand their feelings and actions toward children.
The importance of preparing myself to succeed as well as practicing self care during 2nd year while working with service users whose experiences I can relate to, and exploring topics that are more personal.
Knowing that in the 2nd year of the SSW program, I may be working with service users who have experiences that I may relate to and that coursework will explore topics that are more personal, I can take the initiative to prepare myself, practice self-care and ultimately succeed, at the same time. I will read as much as I can about the workload and client base of the centre where I am working. I will continue to build rapport with others who are working at the organization so that I have a clear network of people to seek support from if client interactions are emotionally activating for me. I have some experience in the field, so I can use that as an advantage. I have had to use my knowledge of community and lived experience to help clinicians prepare resources for clients many times in the past, so I can rely on these experiences to inform some of my interactions. I will succeed by being honest about the experiences that I am having and how I am learning from them, seeking clarification and additional opportunities to learn when possible, and asking to debrief with other staff. I can continue to practice spirituality as well as taking care of my own mental and physical health through a number of ways like meditation, exercise and yoga, and healthy eating. I will continue self care at home by painting and journaling to express and note my feelings. Being able to practice grounding and mindfulness techniques for my own care, will serve as a reminder that I am best able to make an impact in my community when I am healthy, present and focused.
What I hope to achieve as an SSW
As an SSW, I hope to work toward social change from multiple levels including micro, mezzo and macro areas of society. It is my aim to continue to work in collaboration with other community partners, community members, researchers, academics and volunteers on various initiatives related to social policy reform and the narrative of social justice in our Region. As this is macro level social service work, I find that it is an important way to positively influence the day to day experiences of current community members as well as those to come. From a micro level perspective, I sometimes enjoy providing assistance to clients directly since I can tell that it becomes easier for them to navigate systems like court, social assistance, and immigration when they are connected to a professional who is well aware of various resources, so it is my intent to continue doing this through occasional direct support with clients, and regular contact with therapists whom I work with. I am passionate about community decision making and advocacy work to influence and suggest new policies at places that impact community health such as workplaces, and within our regions school boards which is a way that I continue to advocate for change and community success at a mezzo level.
Some things that concern me about being an SSW
Something that concerns me about becoming an SSW is the experiences that I may have with people who are in crisis. At times, I am a bit worried about instances where I am not able to help someone as much as they need, and at taking the feeling of failure or worry home with me. I also have concerns around circumstances where clients cannot be helped for various reasons affecting eligibility, such as signing a confidentiality agreement. I have concerns around hearing stories through one on one, micro level social work, which add to some of the frustrations that I have around Macro level issues in society that I believe are ultimate causes or shortcomings leading to struggles for people in the community. People’s experiences are often vastly different, and this ultimately means that I won't be able to help everyone. Though I am nervous about how this might feel within the moment, It also means that I will continue learning within the sector, alongside other staff as well as clients themselves.
Positive Learning as a result of completing this assignment.
Something that really stood out to me as a positive learning experience which has stemmed from this assignment of self exploration is the difference in events on my timelines. I noticed on my critical reflection timeline, that during the time I spent with my abusive ex partner, I did not log many personal achievements in my timeline. I realize that outside of surviving the critical events that I experienced when I was partnered with my ex, I did not accomplish many of the goals that I had set for my future myself. I was able to grow wiser and more resilient during my time with my ex and that, I consider a “win”, but understanding that I am more than just a survivor, with hopes and dreams for my future, I realize that I have done much better working toward the achievement of these dreams, during the years that I have been separated from him. After completing the timelines I felt a bit more enlightened in terms of my own resilience and capabilities to recover from stressful and potentially damaging situations, when I remove negative, toxic elements and people, from my life and inner circle.
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